Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
