You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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