I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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