Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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