oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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