Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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