the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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