i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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