FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
