she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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