We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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