Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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