ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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