Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
