My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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