Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
