a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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