I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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