That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
