Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
