I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
