dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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