no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i out mim tonsoeep
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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