Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
