You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
