I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize