if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
youre lurking in front of me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
