I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
