I am puke
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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