oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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