if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
