What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
