we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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