So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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