ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
