you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
