did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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