i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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