Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
