its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
