You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
