hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
