After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize