the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
