That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
