Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize