couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
