At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
