One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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