and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize