Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
