Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
