we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The feeling are messing with the penis
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize