So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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