You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize