A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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