WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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