I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize