omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
