Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't deserve a penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
