I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
