She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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