he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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