And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
