I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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