Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
