Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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