I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
